Proximity, Baby
by risseb1123
Summary: Gibbs struggles to do the right thing after walking in on Abby while she's dreaming about him. Follow up to Unavailable.
1. Chapter 1

This story is a follow up to Unavailable. I found it interesting to tell the story from the POV of both Abby and Gibbs, and hopefully you will too. Much thanks to my Beta, PT21 for all her assistance and words of encouragement.

Beta: PT21

Rating: M

Disclaimer: These characters belong to CBS, not me.

Summary: Gibbs witnesses one of Abby's dreams first hand, and finds himself struggling to do the right thing.

Enjoy and please review.

Proximity, Baby

_~Abby~_

He walks into my lab, his head held high, a steely expression in his slate-blue eyes. It is immediately apparent to me that something is weighing on his mind.

"Gibbs? Is everything ok?"

"No."

"Ok...allow me to start over. Is there something I can help you with, oh fearless one?"

"Maybe...well, it depends."

"On?" I ask, my curiosity piqued.

"How good are you at tying ribbons?

_Gibbs' Place 20:00 Hours_

"It's been quite a while since I've been to a slumber party, Gibbs."

"This isn't a slumber party, Abby. It's a diversionary tactic to keep my god-daughter distracted while her mother and Franks are away," he replies, as we watch Amira play in her travel playpen with a good number of overstuffed toys.

At nearly two, Amira is just starting to lose some of the chubbiness in cheeks. Her small, constantly-growing body lengthening and slimming down with every second of sleep she can muster, which these days is a lot, as she's having one doozy of a growth spurt.

"Where'd they go, if you don't mind my asking?"

"They went. They'll be back in a few days," he says, eyeing me. "Are you in, or..."

"I'm in, Gibbs. You know I'm in," I say, placing my hand on his arm to quiet him before he can cast any doubt on my dedication. "They sure sprung this on you last second."

"Yes, they did," Gibbs agrees. "I need your help Abby. It's been a really long time since-,"

Gibbs stops and shifts uncomfortably. Even now, nearly eighteen years after the fact, it is extremely difficult for him to talk about his wife Shannon and daughter Kelly.

"To be totally honest, you probably have more experience with this kind of thing than I do," I say, shrugging. "But I'm here to help you in any way possible."

"That's all I needed to hear, Abs. And...just remember you said that," he says, leaning over the playpen to lift his god-daughter into his arms. "Because I do believe this little angel needs to have her trainers changed," he adds, grinning ear-to-ear as he hands Amira to me. I awkwardly take her in my arms and the pretty little girl smiles and slaps me on the cheek with her tiny, plump hand. Seeing my bug-eyed reaction, Amira laughs, as if I'm the funniest thing around, completely oblivious to the not-so-pleasant aroma emanating from her disposable trainers.

"Oh yeah, she's in need of a change, alright!" I say, pinching my nose. "Stinky, baby, stinky!" Again, the toddler laughs, which causes her to swing her little legs and ball her tiny hands into fists. The joy of her laughter rings about the living room, shattering any gloom with its joviality. "Am I also going to be responsible for potty training this weekend, Gibbs?" I ask, already knowing the answer. My boss simply smiles and I sigh...hard. "I might as well give her a bath. What should I do with her after that?"

"Haven't you ever babysat before, Abs? After her bath, it's time for bed. She needs her beauty rest."

"Hardly. This kid is going to be a knockout."

"Well, I need mine."

"No you don't. You're already a knockout," I say with a wink, which is rewarded with an almost-smile from my favorite boss. "But if by beauty rest you mean time to work in your basement – I've got you, Gibbs."

"Thank you, Abs."

_Sometime in the middle of the night..._

A faint cry makes its way to my ears, awakening me. A glance at the playpen reveals its empty state, which immediately causes panic to take over. Where's Amira? I'd put her down to sleep what seemed like only a short time ago. She couldn't have climbed out herself! At least I didn't think she could. I jump off the sofa, ready to wage holy war when into the room walks Gibbs. He's holding Amira in his arms like only practiced persons do, shushing her and gently rubbing her hair.

"Shh, it's ok, Amira. You can play house in the morning," he says, softly. "Abby?" he says, spotting me in full-blown post-freakout state.

"I heard her crying and then she wasn't there and I just didn't know what to think!" I quickly blurt out.

"She must've climbed out of her playpen. She was halfway down the basement stairs before I woke up. I fell asleep down there," he offers as an explanation. "And it's a good thing I did. I had no idea she could climb out of there," he says, frowning at the playpen that had let us all down.

"Yeah...a really good thing. Well, what do we do now? We can't put her back in it."

"Not sure, Abs."

"What if I slept in the guest room with her?" Gibbs looks as if he's contemplating my suggestion. "It's probably our best bet of getting some rest. I could lock the door and she'd be unable to roam the house," I say, hoping he'll agree, just wanting to get back to sleep.

"There's no lock on the door, but that's still a good idea. I say we try it." I grab my things and follow him up the stairs to the guest room that looks like it hasn't seen company in years.

"Actually, maybe it would be better if you stayed in my room, and I slept here," He says, probably realizing that the level of dust alone in the room would not be good for Amira...or me for that matter. I nod my agreement, and follow him down the hall. We enter his bedroom, which is quaint and sparsely furnished. His perfectly made-up bed looks comfortable and welcoming in the dim light cast by a single lamp on the nightstand, of what I assume is Gibbs' side of the bed.

"Here," he says, handing Amira to me. The ex-marine grabs a towel off the back of the room's only chair . "I need a shower," he says as he makes his way out of the room.

"God-daddy went to clean off the sawdust." I say to Amira.

"Bath," she says, 's the first thing Amira's said to me all night. I guess she's finally warming up to me.

"Yes, bath. Gibbs went to take a bath."

"Towel," Amira says, holding her hands above her head. The joy on her sleepy little face is instantly reflected in mine.

"Towel," I repeat. "Now, lets lie down, sweetie," I say, reclining with Amira beside me. She scoots in closer and turns on her side. "I think you're used to this, aren't you little one?" Amira smiles and closes her eyes.

Before long, Gibbs returns from the shower, smelling fresh and manly clean, except there's a problem. My boss is half-naked, wrapped only in a towel. His wet hair is going every which direction in the most adorable way, and I really can't be responsible for the myriad of thoughts that have just blown through my mind.

"I don't usually need to take these with me to the shower," he says, turning his back to me as he rummages through his dresser. He pulls out a pair of navy blue, cotton boxers apparently, completely unaware of the fact that he is so obviously standing before me, half naked? "I guess you finally have the answer to your boxers or briefs, question, Abby."

Boxers or briefs is the furthest thing from my mind, as I try to wrap my senses around who this sexy creature with the water rolling down his firm, hard body is. The one whose ass is wrapped in a thin, damp towel, fitted perfectly around his hips. He is in magnificent shape for a man his age, and all I can do is stare...hard.


	2. Chapter 2

Beta: PT21

Rating: M

Disclaimer: These characters belong to CBS, not me.

Summary: Gibbs witnesses one of Abby's dreams first hand, and finds himself struggling to do the right thing.

Enjoy and please review.

* * *

**Proximity, Baby**

Chapter Two

"Abby," Gibbs says, having finally turned around, which presents me with a new canvas to explore.

"Abigail Sciuto?"

"Um, yes?"

"You're making me feel like a piece of meat here." I don't even try to deny it, because he's right. I am staring like a starving man at a buffet, unsure of which scrumptious morsel to pop into my mouth first. Damn. I think I may actually be salivating.

"Can't help it boss," I say, my eyes still glued to his body. "You have an amazing body. I always imagined you did, but seeing it live and in 3-D, wet, and hard, and..." at a loss for words, my hands express my feelings, by making grabbing gestures in the air. I realize my reaction is a bit over-the-top, but, hey. I can only be me.

The faintest smile flashes across his features, that I bet he thinks I miss. "I'm sorry, Gibbs. Containing myself, now," I say, attempting to tear my eyes away. I fail miserably.

"I realize this isn't exactly part of your job description, Abs," Gibbs starts off, in a low, almost whisper, "And that we're not presently at NCIS, but I am still your boss." That's right, Gibbs. Go right ahead and try to pull the whole, _I'm your boss,_ card while nearly _naked_, because it's surely working wonders!

"Yes, yes, you are. I must remember that you are my boss. My hot, wet, sexy, still half-naked boss - Gibbs...would you please put some clothes on?" I ask, hurriedly. "And dry off? For the love of God?"

Gibbs stands in place for a moment looking at me, which I don't notice at first because his face isn't exactly where my focus has been. When I finally make my way back to his face, I see two things. Desire, and confusion, only, both are gone in the blink of an eye; leaving me to wonder about my penchant for seeing what I want in a man. Sighing, Gibbs, turns and leaves the room, boxers in hand, closing the door behind him. I squeeze my eyes shut and flop back onto the bed.

In the midst of all of the chit chat and exploding hormones, Amira has managed to fall asleep. I momentarily watch her profile as she snoozes away. I turn over to face away from the center of the bed. Closing my eyes, I mull over what just happened, and begin wonder why Gibbs hadn't covered up before leaving the bathroom. He knows I'm attracted to him. I've more than spelled it out for him, yet he walks in here like I'm supposed to be made of stone or something. Sometimes I wonder about that man. Has he forgotten how a few months back, I confessed to having sex dreams about him? And the not-so-subtle strip tease that followed? So now what I'm supposed to do with all this pent-up sexual frustration, on top of which jet fuel has been added in the form of a squeaky-clean be-toweled boss?

Gently, as not to awaken Amira, I ease out of bed, and slip out of my shorts. I hope I can fall asleep soon, or tomorrow is going to be pretty hard to take, with potty training, chasing after a two-year old, and trying not to think about Gibbs' sexy body all day long. Sighing heavily, I wonder if I'll ever chase that enticing image out of my head.

Soon, sleep nestles me in it's warm grasp and I find myself, once again, dreaming about Gibbs. I'm in his bed, only, Amira isn't here. It's just us, and Gibbs' towel has been discarded. He's kissing me all over-my lips and neck as I feverishly run my hands over his naked body. The next thing I know, I'm screaming out his name, over and over as he fills me, our bodies creating time's oldest rhythm, bringing me to the brink of..

"Gibbs!," I cry out into the night.

"Abby, it's ok, it's just a dream."

Oh no. This can't be happening. I open my eyes to find him right there, sitting beside me on the bed, his warm hands on my shoulders. Wet dream. Did it have to be a wet dream? Some people think women can't have them, but I am living proof that we can! I just had one and Gibbs was right here! I can't express how humiliating this moment is. I look over at Amira to find her still sound asleep.

"Gibbs," I say, groggily. "I'm sorry..." He looks at me for a moment before responding. It's dark in the room, but I think I just witnessed a bit of his resolve break.

"You were calling my name over and over, Abby," he says, his voice thick, gravely and low. "You were dreaming about...?"

"The same ol' same ol', Gibbs. You, me...sex, I say, my eyes closed. "I'm sorry...sorry to have awaken you." With that said, I turn over.

I don't know what happened to my covers, I must've kicked them off in my sleep, but it hits me at that moment that I am short-less, and wearing a thong for underwear. The already thick tension in the air doubles. Glancing over my shoulder, I check out my boss, who is doing some checking out of his own. Without looking at my face, Gibbs quickly reaches to the floor for my discarded sheet, and nearly throws it onto me, covering my nakedness.

"See you in the morning, Abby," he says, in a voice I barely recognize. I watch his retreating back as he leaves the room, closing the door softly behind him. Oh brother. This has turned out to be one hell of a night. Sleep is the last thing on my mind as I try to figure a few things out, like; how long he'd actually been in here. Did he realize I'd climaxed? Suddenly, I feel ashamed, dirty. I don't think I'll ever live down this embarrassment. These dreams are out of control, and someway somehow, I need to find a way to end them once and for all. Suddenly, I knew what had to be done, and the knowledge alone left me deeply saddened.


	3. Chapter 3

Beta: PT21

Rating: M

Disclaimer: These characters belong to CBS, not me.

Summary: Gibbs witnesses one of Abby's dreams first hand, and finds himself struggling to do the right thing.

Enjoy and please review.

* * *

**Proximity, Baby**

Chapter Three

**_~Gibbs~_**

_My place, 20:00 Hours_

I told Abby to drop by, prepared to spend the weekend, last we spoke. I think her eyes just about bugged out of her head. She knows we will be babysitting my god-daughter, Amira, but I think she is a tad too excited about the prospect of spending so much time with me outside of work.

I find it interesting that she dreams about me. Sex dreams, no less, and I would be lying if I didn't say it flatters me. It flatters me a great deal but I can't let her know that. The balance must be kept and I have to be the one to keep it.

Abby's here. She walks in the door, sleeping gear in one hand and carrying an overnight bag. She doesn't knock, just walks in the front door and spots me sitting in the living room beside Amira, as she plays inside her playpen.

"It's been quite a while since I've been to a slumber party, Gibbs."

Her hair is down. I like it that way. It's really, well...sexy. What else is different? Oh, she's not wearing dark makeup. That's different...

"This isn't a slumber party, Abby," I say, as Abby plunks her things down beside the sofa. "It's a diversionary tactic to keep my god-daughter distracted while her mother and Franks are away."

It was an early morning call from my former boss and mentor Mike Franks, that made this weekend possible. Apparently, Amira's mother, Leyla, is urgently needed back home. Her grandfather passed away, and not wanting her to go through it alone, Franks volunteered to accompany her. Leaving Amira with me had also been his idea. _It will only be a few days_, he'd said.

"Where'd they go, if you don't mind my asking?" Abby asks, as she picks up a stuffed bear to dance and jiggle for Amira, who smiles wide.

"They went. They'll be back in a few days. Are you in, or..."

"I'm in, Gibbs. You know I'm in," she says. Then she places her hand on my arm. "They sure sprang this on you last second."

"Yes, they did. I need your help Abby. It's been a really long time since-," I start to say, "since I've taken care of a baby", but stop mid-sentence, nearly choking up. I don't like talking about it, but sometimes, the pain from having lost my family resurfaces at the most inopportune times. Unspoken affection clouds Abby's eyes but I think she realizes that the last thing I need is pity, so instead, she quickly says,

"To be quite honest, you probably have more experience with this kind of thing than I do. But I'm here to help you in any way possible." That's my Abby - accommodating, eager-to-please, adorable.

**_Sometime in the middle of the night..._**

I wake up to the sound of little feet on my wooden basement stairs. It took only a few seconds to jump to my feet and scoop Amira into my arms.

"What are you doing down here?"

"Gibbs;" she says, poking me in the chest.

"Yes, Gibbs," I say, smiling. Amira points to my boat.

"House," she says, attempting to squirm her way out of my arms.

"No, that's a boat – well, it's almost a boat. We are going upstairs and back to bed, young lady." Amira continues struggling to be let down, but I hold on tighter and start up the stairs. She is not too happy with that and starts to cry. Her loud wail pierces the near-silence of the house, as we make our way to the living room where I find a slightly-frazzled Abby.

"Abby?"

"I heard her crying and then she wasn't there and I just didn't know what to think!" she says, hurriedly. Her pajamas of choice are a pair of black checkered shorts and white oversized tank, and she looks amazing with her hair all over her head in perfectly, delightful disarray.

"She must've climbed out of her playpen," I say, trying not to stare. "We quickly decide that the best course of action is for Abby and Amira to sleep in my bed. Once in my room, I hand Amira off to Abby and say, "Get her settled in. I need a shower."

I head down the hall to the bathroom and quickly adjust the shower spray before stepping in the warm stream. It's been a long day, a longer week and this weekend will hopefully not feel like it's the longest yet. I quickly wash my body as I contemplate my situation. Abby, here with me all weekend long. The thought brings a smile to my lips, making me realize that even though dating her is out, I am very much attracted to my young forensic scientist. If I could do anything with her, to her, without any consequences whatsoever, she wouldn't need those sex dreams she's been having about me, because they'd be reality. As quick as a flash, an image of Abby beneath me, screaming out my name flashes through my mind, surprising me with it's intensity. I push the thought from my head and finish up. It's time for bed.

When I walk back into my room, it quickly becomes apparent that maybe, I should've been wearing more than a towel. But even if I hadn't realized it, the look on Abby's face is enough to bring the obvious oversight to light. Her mouth fell open in shock as she saw me stride into my room, wet and clean. It was enough to pump up my ego for days.

"I don't usually need to take these with me to the shower," I say, trying to make light of the situation and explain my actions with at the same time. I turn my back to Abby and search through my dresser for a pair of boxers."I guess you finally have the answer to your boxers or briefs, question, Abby." I turn around to find her expression has changed from shocked, appreciative awe, to unabashed lust. Her eyes repeatedly sweep across my chest, and down my stomach to my towel-covered privates, back up to my neck, until I say,

"Abby. Abigail Sciuto?"

"Um, yes?" she says, not even attempting to look me in the eyes as she speaks to me.

"You're making me feel like a piece of meat here." My heart is racing a bit, and I'm trying not to let the blood flow south because, well – that would just be embarrassing, not to mention insanely inappropriate.

"Can't help it boss. You have an amazing body. I always imagined you did, but seeing it live and in 3-D, wet, and hard, and..." Abby stops talking, but her hands keep gesturing the universal sign for "gimme".

"I realize this isn't exactly part of your job description, Abs, and that we're not presently at NCIS, but I am still your boss," I say very softly. Any louder, and I would give away my nearly turned-on state, and where the hell would that leave us, but up a certain creek without a paddle.

Abby continues to gawk, but at least she's now making eye contact.

"Yes, yes, you are. I must remember that you are my boss. My hot, wet, sexy, still half-naked boss - Gibbs...would you please put some clothes on...and dry off? For the love of God?" she asks, exasperatedly.

I remain there for a moment, unsure of what to say, but knowing what I have to do. It feels like forever, my standing there, reading the desire in Abby's eyes. Hoping she missed the same in mine. Finally, I leave the room and make my way down the hall to the spare bedroom.


	4. Chapter 4

Beta: PT21

Rating: M

Disclaimer: These characters belong to CBS, not me.

Summary: Gibbs witnesses one of Abby's dreams first hand, and finds himself struggling to do the right thing.

Enjoy and please review.

* * *

**Proximity, Baby**

Chapter Four

**_~Gibbs~_**

_The same night...even later still..._

"Gibbs, oh Gibbs," I hear Abby's voice crying out, finally rousing me from my sleep. "Oh...Gibbs!" she repeats, over and over. I hurry out of bed and make my way to my bedroom, still half asleep. Maybe I'm reacting instinctually, but had I thought things through, I never would have stepped foot in the room. I open the door to find Abby, on my bed, little Amira sound asleep a few feet away. It is immediately apparent that she is dreaming. It's also pretty obvious my role in her dream.

"Gibbs...yessss," she hisses. I watch her for a moment, my brain scrambled. I just cannot believe that I'm here, right now. Abby is on her back, moaning my name over and over, her hands grabbing handfuls of sheet with small beads of perspiration forming all over her body. She squirms on the bed, still calling out my name; and that's when I realize that what I am witnessing is Abby, climaxing right before my eyes. I don't think any heterosexual man could witness this display without some kind of reaction, and as such, I harden. And then it hits. Her orgasm causes her to nearly sit up as it rocks her slim body for what seems like forever. I don't know what to do. I stand there, dumbfounded for a moment, until I realize how it would look if she woke up and found me standing here, so I sit down on the bed beside her, hold her shoulders and say,

"Abby, it's ok, it's just a dream." She opens her eyes and says, of all things,

"Gibbs...I'm sorry..." I look in her eyes for a bit, realizing that nothing between us will ever be the same. This woman wants me so much, it's haunting her in her dreams. And I can't at this very moment, rationalize any reason she should have to endure this.

"You were calling my name over and over. You were dreaming about...?"

"The same ol' same ol', Gibbs. You, me...sex. I'm sorry...sorry to have awakened you."

And then she rolls over on her side. I hadn't noticed earlier that she was wearing a thong. And I thought I was hard before. It's amazing how lightening fast images fly through one's mind. In that moment, looking down at the curve of her firm ass, I saw myself scoop her up into my arms and carry her down the hall to the spare bedroom, where I spent the rest of the night with her long legs wrapped firmly around me, as she called out my name over and over. I am too lost in thought to immediately notice Abby glancing at me over her shoulder. Reaching down to pick up her sheet, I quickly cover her and say, my voice hoarse with longing,

"See you in the morning, Abby." And for me it was morning, because I could not fall asleep for the remainder of the night.


	5. Chapter 5

Beta: PT21

Rating: M

Disclaimer: These characters belong to CBS, not me.

Summary: Gibbs witnesses one of Abby's dreams first hand, and finds himself struggling to do the right thing.

Enjoy and please review.

* * *

**Proximity, Baby**

Chapter Five

**_~Abby~_**

**_Gibbs' Kitchen - 07:00_**

"Good morning," I say, my sadness and humiliation from last night lingering. I left Amira in the living room in her playpen for the moment to find Gibbs, standing at the counter, cooking away in the kitchen.

"Good morning, Abs."

Then he does something I don't expect. He puts down the spatula he'd been mixing something in a huge bowl with, I'm guessing pancakes, and walks over and pulls me into his arms, holding me tightly for a moment. I lean into him, relishing in the comfort of his embrace, fighting off the feelings that are trying to rise to the surface. Fighting harder still the images from last night's very vivid dream.

I know I'm opening up a can of worms, but I have to ask. Exactly how much did he witness last night? I mean, if anybody's crazy enough to confront to the 200 pound gorilla in the room, that person is Abigail Sciuto.

"Gibbs?" I say, tentatively.

"Yes, Abby?"

"Exactly what happened last night?" Gibbs doesn't immediately respond, but he does let go of me and walk back to the counter, creating a respectable amount of space between us. "Wow...that bad, huh?"

"Abby..."

"No, I understand, and it's ok. That had to be awkward. Just tell me this. How many times did I call out your name before you felt the need to see what all the ruckus was about?"

"I stopped counting."

"I see. And what exactly was I doing when you walked into the room?"

"Abby..."

"Gibbs, just tell me." I say, my emotions beginning to rise to the surface.

Gibbs looks at me, his expression unreadable. I can see in the way his jaw is set, that he's not going to budge one bit. He is seriously one frustrating man at times.

Just stay calm, Abby. Getting all emotional isn't going to do this situation any good. After several moments of his silence, I simply cannot take it anymore.

"Fine...don't tell me," I say, my voice starting to shake a bit. "I'll tell _you_ what happened. You heard me calling out your name, and you hurried to my side, only to find that I was having one of those sex dreams I'd told you about. Yet, instead of leaving, you stayed there.. and watched!" I say, my voice steadily rising in pitch.

"So I'm going to ask you again, Gibbs...what exactly was I doing when you walked into the room?" Gibbs continues to return my gaze, giving absolutely nothing away. And that's when something inside of me splinters. "JUST TELL ME, DAMMIT!"

In the background, Amira begins to cry, most likely reacting to my emotional meltdown. Gibbs and I continue our staring contest for several moments until he excuses himself to check on his god-daughter. Suddenly, all the pent-up frustration, humiliation and stress of the unknown, crash down on me at once. It is a while before I even realize I am crying.


	6. Chapter 6

Beta: PT21

Rating: M

Disclaimer: These characters belong to CBS, not me.

Summary: Gibbs witnesses one of Abby's dreams first hand, and finds himself struggling to do the right thing.

Enjoy and please review.

* * *

**Proximity, Baby**

Chapter Six

**_~Gibbs~_**

**_Living Room 07:05_**

I find Amira, standing in her crib with one leg firmly positioned over its edge, ready to make her escape. She isn't really crying, just occasionally whimpering.

"And just where do you think you're going?" I ask, smiling. Amira looks up and says,

"Wanna get out," her lower lip pouting a bit.

"But you like your playpen." I say, pulling a handful of toys and books out of her bag. I'd been saving some of her favorite things for such a time as this. Once she sees her pop-up train book, and Zora the Explorer doll, her face lights up like a Coors Beer sign.

"Zora!" she cheers excitedly, her little arms open wide to accept the plush doll. I hand it to her and sit beside the playpen to take a moment to think about what just happened with Abby. I don't quite know how to handle her questioning this morning. The outburst was very unexpected and caught me off guard. If she only knew how hard it was seeing her that way last night. And it's not exactly something that I want to discuss either. At least not right now, but she obviously needs to. Women. They always want to talk things through.

I watch Amira happily playing for a bit longer, pondering my return to Abby– dreading it is more like it, when I hear sounds coming from the kitchen.

"Abby," I say, when I walk in to find her crouched down on the floor along the interior wall. She's crying. Why...does she have to cry? Her pitiful sobs fill the room, as she stoops with her face in her hands. What have I done? I gently take her by the hand helping her to her feet and into my arms. She buries her face in my shirt and lets out louder, longer sobs. And I let her cry, smoothing her hair as she turns my shirt into a handkerchief. Several minutes later, her breathing has returned to normal and the crying stopped, but I'm still holding her. And the problem is, I don't want to let go.

"Please, just t-tell me. What did you s-see when you were in the room last night?"

"I saw a woman who loves me very much - whose burden of love is much bigger than I ever understood...until last night."

"I do love you. And I wish you loved me too. I've tried Gibbs, tried to stop loving you. But it's firmly entrenched in my heart and it won't let go," she says, her tears starting up again. "But after thinking things through, I've decided that I need a change of pace. I've decided to ask you for one last favor."

I am not sure I like the sound of this, but I don't say a word, just wait for her to continue.

"Write the best letter of recommendation you've ever written...for me, Gibbs. So that I can transfer to another NCIS unit." When I look down, the openness and honesty reflected in her face breaks my heart.

"You want to leave, Abby?"

"I need to leave."

"And if I say no?"

"Then I quit."

"Don't do this Abby."

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't."

"You're irreplaceable."

"I will be sure to provide you with a remarkable list of potential replacements."

"That's not what I meant."

"You can't make me stay, Gibbs."

"What exactly do you need from me Abby?"

"I don't know. But I do know that the longer I stay, the more I have to see you, the closer we become without anything developing outside of the boss/employee relationship, the harder it is for me. I don't know if you are my forever after, Gibbs, but I do know that I want you to be my here and now. But you won't let me. You refuse to bend one tiny bit, and I just realized – I've finally come to grips with what that truly means. You don't want me! And as hard as it is to admit that, or to even say it out loud, what admitting it does is, it sets me free. Free Gibbs! To live and to love and to not be tormented by an unrequited love or lust or whatever this is that I not only don't understand, but no longer want. I don't want to want you anymore. I just want to be happy. To move forward and to not have to fret my dreams. Just let me go. Please just let...me go."

A lump forms in my throat that refuses to go away. Life without Abby is something I've not often contemplated. But how can I deny her something that she so rightly deserves? To love and be loved by someone who is good for her, who's not carrying three divorces worth of baggage around, weighing down his heart. Her eyes continue to silently plead with me and I just can't bring myself to agree to let her go. To do so would feel like I'm walking myself to the executioner, or willfully cutting off my own oxygen supply.

And that's when I realize that I have to do as she's asked. I have to let her go. Even if letting her go means that a small part of me dies. Because holding her close to me for proximity's sake and not sharing my life, my love, myself with her, is one of the cruelest things I can do. After all, you don't willfully hurt the ones you love.

THE END

Thank you for reading.


End file.
